• The PLATITUDE OPENING that nobody can disagree with... "To do well, kids need to eat well." No need to convince the audience of this...it's an obvious yes.
• The Long Awkward Unrealistic Line with lots of information crammed into it ("Did you know it's the only leading line of kids' cereals . . . " To make it less awkward, make it more spontaneous, like thought.
• In this read, you're addressing someone one-on-one at arm's length, putting the performance out in front of you, BEYOND THE MIC. Your read can sound spontaneous and "like thought" and conspiratorial across-the-fence-to-your-neighbor....without being INSIDE YOUR HEAD on something as fun/light/casual as a kids' cereal spot.
• "Did you know" means you're talking to ONE PERSON.
Listen to Mike's pickups at 14:56 and 15:16. Just a little turn of the dial to make it less announcerish and more matter-of-fact makes it a better and more believable read.
To do well, kids need to eat well. And eating well means getting enough whole grain and calcium.
And General Mills Big G kids cereals can help.
Did you know it's the only leading line of kids cereals with at least 8 grams of whole grain and a good source of calcium?
Cereals they already love,
like Lucky Charms and Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
Give your kids more of what they need to be their best.
Grow up strong with Big G kids cereals.